BASEBALL IS FINE 🔥

🔥FIRST PITCH — South Side Prayers

Happy Saturday!

Congrats to the Chicago White Sox — they finally won something: the No. 1 pick in the 2026 MLB Draft.

Hope on the South Side?
Bold strategy.

At this point, the Sox should skip the analytics department and just send their scouting reports straight to Pope Leo. Let His Holiness make the call.

He can’t possibly do worse than the last decade.

While the White Sox search for divine intervention…
the Dodgers are building something far less holy — and a lot more terrifying.

This week’s Hot Stove didn’t simmer.
It blew a gasket.

Kyle Schwarber returned to Philly.
Robert Suarez landed in Atlanta.

Then the Mets got hit.

They lost Edwin Díaz to the Dodgers.
Then they lost Pete Alonso to the Orioles.

Queens hasn’t felt this punched in the mouth since… pick a year.

And the Dodgers?

They’re not sipping champagne.
They’re shotgunning jet fuel.

Díaz doesn’t just stabilize the bullpen — he weaponizes the ninth inning.
And once Sasaki joins Yamamoto, Snell, Ohtani, and Glasnow?

That’s not a rotation.
That’s a Marvel roster.

At this point, forget beating L.A. —
start practicing the word lockout.

🟢 THE GOOD — “Go To Korea”

Every year, a handful of struggling MLB players pack their bags, hop across the Pacific, and try to reinvent themselves in the KBO. And when they come back? They don’t return with souvenirs — they return with contracts.

Cody Ponce is the latest walking billboard for the program. He leaves MLB, dominates in Korea, comes back, and signs for $30 million.

That’s not a comeback story.
That’s a travel brochure.

At this point, if you’re a fringe MLB pitcher, your agent shouldn’t be calling Triple-A. He should be Googling flights to Seoul.

🔴 THE BAD — The Mets

Some teams build. Some teams reload. The Mets?
They stand there like they’re waiting for FEMA to show up.

This week was a full-scale disaster in Queens.

Edwin Díaz — gone, hijacked by the Dodgers.
Pete Alonso — gone, off to Baltimore to mash crab cakes and homers.

Two franchise pillars evaporated in 24 hours.
That’s not a “bad week.”
That’s a mandatory HR meeting.

People keep saying, “But Cohen’s loaded!”
Yeah — no kidding. The man spent half a billion dollars trying to build a contender and somehow ended up with a very expensive obituary.

This isn’t a spending problem.
This is a return on investment problem.

At this point, telling Steve Cohen to “spend a little” is like telling a guy drowning in receipts to try another credit card.

Right now, the Mets don’t need a closer.
They need a long, awkward conversation with themselves.

🙈 THE UGLY — Hollywood and the Ohtani Scandal

Because apparently nothing in baseball stays a scandal anymore — it has to become a TV show.

Remember Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter, Ippei Mizuhara?
The guy who stole $17 million from the sport’s biggest star while smiling in every dugout photo?

Yeah. That guy.

He was convicted, sentenced to nearly five years in prison — and now Starz is turning it into prestige TV.
Betrayal. Gambling. Stolen millions. Award-season material.

Baseball’s biggest fraud story of the decade is now content.
Because of course it is.

Hollywood looked at the scandal and replied:
“Perfect. Roll cameras.”

🚙 ONE FOR THE ROAD — “Go Back to Your Sunshine, You Hoser!”

If you’re leaving this week needing a smile, here you go.

Freddie Freeman got absolutely roasted by a pack of young Blue Jays fans — and he volunteered for it.

During a visit to Toronto’s SickKids Hospital, Freeman walked in expecting cheers. Instead, he got booed, chirped, and hit with a perfectly Canadian send-off:

“Go back to your sunshine and traffic, you hoser!”

The kids chased him out chanting “Let’s go Blue Jays!”

Great cause. Great moment.
And yes — Freddie took it like a pro.

Watch the video

Have a Great weekend!

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